“Our Very Lives as Well”

1 Thessalonians 2:1-8
You know, brothers and sisters, that our visit to you was not without results. We had previously suffered and been treated outrageously in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in the face of strong opposition. For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed —God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. Instead, we were like young children among you.
Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.

The book of Thessalonians is the oldest book in the New Testament. It was written before even the gospels were written down and gives us this wonderful peek into Paul’s early ministry as a missionary. Thessalonians is a different book than Paul’s later letters which are filled with frustration at the churches in Galatia and Philippi or the epic defense of the Christian faith to the church in Rome. The letter to the Thessalonians is of a missionary and pastor who misses his people that he loves. There was significant persecution of the church in Thessalonica and Paul’s presence there was making it worse, so Paul and his teammates Timothy and Silvanus were forced to flee. In this letter, we hear Paul’s longing to be back with his people and to encourage them during this time. 

In this letter, you can also hear the beginning of Paul’s defense of his calling as an apostle. As I said, this was the earliest written text in the New Testament, so this was at a time when there were people alive who knew Jesus personally and Paul was not one of them. Worse, he actively persecuted the early church before his conversion! Throughout the early church, there was skepticism of Paul’s authority and credibility because how could he faithfully witness about Christ when he didn’t personally know him? That seems like a bit of a funny problem to us 2,000 years later but it was a significant problem at the time. And so, 1 Thessalonians 2 begins with Paul reiterating what he and his colleagues Silvanus and Timothy did and did not do. 

I think Paul’s explanation of his actions and intentions are helpful for us in understanding Christian leadership and disciple today. When I say leaders, I’m not just talking about pastors. Elders and Deacons are leaders in our church. Ruling Elders have the same authority as I do except for administering the sacraments, so no one is off the hook here! Paul’s description of Christian leadership applies to all of us in our life together. There are fancy titles like Pastor or Elder, but more often Christian leadership is done in all sorts of informal and important ways. I think the next season of congregational life for Lakewood Presbyterian Church will be about seeking new methods of leadership that go beyond the pulpit. I can only be an effective leader of this congregation if I am working with you– the other leaders in this church.

First, Paul wants to be very clear that his desire to share the gospel “does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel.” Christian leaders must keep their motives pure. All of us must ask ourselves, “Why am I doing what I am doing? Is it because I want to impress someone or make myself look good or is it because I believe it is true?” I was talking with someone about a personal matter another congregation member was going through and the person said, “I don’t want to gossip!” I told them, there is a difference between gossip and letting the pastor know about an important pastoral care need. I can’t know everything that is going on in your lives and so I do rely on our other leaders like deacons to privately share their concerns so I can be a better pastor to those in need. But that doesn’t mean I’m automatically immune from gossiping! Just like everyone else, I need to check my own motivation when listening to someone share. I have to keep my own conscience clean and to ask others to do the same. As Presbyterians, we like to say “God alone is Lord of conscience.” I love that phrase and for me, it means that I can trust my gut because God is guiding my instincts. If my conscience is not settled, then I know that I am acting outside the bounds of what is good and pleasing to God. But, if my conscience is clean, then I can be confident that I am walking in the Spirit of God. 

Next, Paul says, “We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed —God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority.” Christian leaders serve God and others with integrity. I’ll be honest for a moment— dishonest tactics can be wildly successful. Bending the truth, asking for one thing while knowing it’s just an excuse for something that will benefit you, or buttering people up to get what you want ARE effective. Just think about how bills get passed through Congress every day. Dishonest tactics have made some people extremely wealthy and that is why they are so tempting. Those of us who are Christian must reject those temptations at every turn. It is tempting to live for praise and compliments. One of the strange parts about being a pastor is you have a lot of up front leadership and so it’s easy for people to say, “good sermon, Pastor” as they shake your hand on the way out the door every Sunday. I had a good boss many years ago who told me that I would have to work hard not to crumple when I don’t get that constant praise. He was right. If we live for the praise, we will die either by its absence or the criticism that will inevitably come.

Finally, Paul does what I love most about him— he mixes metaphors. He says, “Instead, we were like young children among you.” I do not think someone needs to be a parent to truly understand children or parenting, but when I read Paul I often think, “This guy didn’t spend a lot of time around children…” because when he says, “we were like young children among you” I don’t think the image that comes to my mind is quite what he was implying. I think he was implying genuine, unburdened, openness to others. And there is a truth to that. Children do not have pretense nor are they born to be vicious manipulators. But as all of us who have spent time with young children— our own or just ones that we love—know, children are not exactly “gentle” as the NRSV once translated the phrase. Young children are wild and they do have ulterior motives and will try to get their parents to relent. Young children are wonderful and hilarious and certainly a handful. I don’t get the sense that Paul and his colleagues were a handful.

But he continues with another metaphor that he also doesn’t have much personal experience with, but one that is very special for me. Paul describes his role as pastor as a nursing mother who cares for her children. For so long, the church fought about whether women could really be pastors when the answer was so clearly in front of us all along. Last year, when I became a nursing mother for the first time, I was not serving in a church. I had been looking for a job for longer than I expected and I wasn’t sure what it would look like for me to be a pastor and a mom. How do I do both? The year since then has been an unfolding of delightful surprises as God has shown me bit by bit what it means for me to hold on to two different vocational identities at the same time. My first sermon after Jack was born was at my church in Oregon and the lectionary passage that Sunday was when Paul spoke about “infants who drink only milk.” Breastfeeding Jack was one of the hardest things about my first year of motherhood and so it was such a profound moment for me to get to preach on something so intimate and personal to me and get to bring that to the church. My sermon was much different than if the 60-something male pastor had preached that day, I’ll tell you that! But in that moment, I felt God saying, “yes, you are called to this work and yes it will look different now that you are a mom.”

And now, 8 months later, the lectionary has surprised me again with another passage with an intimate and personal metaphor for me, on my installation Sunday, no less! I love being a mother and have been overwhelmed by the intimate joy that I have found in raising my child. I am not, by nature, a gentle and tender person and yet I have found that I am capable of deep tenderness with Jack, especially when he was an infant. When I think of Paul’s metaphor of pastor as nursing mother, I think of the best parts of who I am as a mom. I am not a perfect mom nor will I ever be a perfect pastor but, my love for my children and my people is the thread that weaves through every day.

For as Paul says, “because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our very lives as well.” This is, ultimately, what Christian leaders like myself are called to. It’s not a burden to do life together— it’s a delight. I am still learning how to have good and healthy boundaries that allow me to be a person outside of being your pastor, but I never want those boundaries to get in the way of sharing my life with you. One of the things that this congregation does best is sharing your very lives with one another. It is a delight to celebrate milestones and occasions with one another and it is a privilege to share in the hardest moments that life has to offer. This job allows me to be in some of the most intimate moments of people’s lives— baptisms, weddings, hospital rooms, and gravesites. It never stops being a privilege.

People of Lakewood Pres, I am glad that you called me to be your leader during this season of the church’s life. I do not know all that the future holds, but I know that I am delighted to be your pastor and to share my very life with you as well. But I am not the only leader in this church and so to our Elders, our Deacons, and everyone else that calls themself a follower of God, I ask that you especially reflect on what being in Christian community and leadership means to you. Later today, I will take my installation vows, my favorite of which says that I will serve the congregation with “energy, intelligence, imagination, and love.” And oh, how that is my hope. It’s an honor to serve you and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us next.