John 15:9-17 - "As I Have Loved You"
/“As I Have Loved You”
John 15:9-17
As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.
Today is my first Sunday as your pastor and so for weeks now, I’ve been thinking and praying about what to preach on. How should we start this new season of church life together? I’ve been constantly reminded that while this is my first Sunday, it is far from the first Sunday for many of you! The ministry and life of Lakewood Presbyterian Church has gone on long before me and I hope will continue long after me someday. But as I begin this season as your pastor, I’ve been reflecting on values and commitments that have been guiding you lately. In particular, I know you have been thinking about what it means to be a church not just in a neighborhood, but for your neighborhood.
So I’d like to spend the next three Sundays asking, what do the gospels say about being a neighbor and how do we put into practice the act of neighboring? We’ll be looking at three different gospel passages in which Jesus talks about what it means to be a good neighbor and I hope this will be a good way for me to have a shared vocabulary with you on the work you’ve already done on what neighboring means.
I keep using the word “neighboring” as a verb because I think it best captures the idea of what we are talking about. We’re not about “being a good neighbor” as if a “good neighbor” is something either you or are not, based on a criteria that you set for yourself. “Neighboring” is not how we feel, it is what we do. It is an ongoing commitment, not a one time event.
Today’s scripture reading is about what I believe is the cornerstone of neighboring– love. If you’re like me, you may think you know this passage from John better than you actually do. When I thought of John 15, I thought of the Golden Rule from Matthew– “do unto others as you would have them do to you.” I thought, then, that Jesus was saying something similar here– “love one another as you would love yourself.” But that is not what he said! No, Jesus said, “love one another as I have loved you.” And that my friends, is something different entirely.
Most of us are not all that great at loving ourselves. We are our own harshest critics. We beat ourselves up for things we probably wouldn’t even notice if a friend did. We ruminate over comments we made that make us feel stupid. And we relentlessly criticize our bodies for not living up to the impossible beauty standards of our society. Sometimes, when we try to love ourselves we slip into arrogance instead, thinking ourselves so much than those around us. The line between humility and pride is a fine one. So no, I don’t think I’m alone in not always loving myself well. But the good news is that Christ loves us SO well.
` So what does it mean to love others, not as we love ourselves but as Christ loves us? I think it means three things. The first thing is that Christ loves us first. This is my favorite part of Reformed theology– the belief that God is the primary actor. This means, we believe that before we chose to love God, God loved us. We did not achieve salvation, God extended it. We did not complete the correct sequence of events or say magical words in prayer to be saved. It is God who saved us before we could even ask. Before you did anything to make you worthy of being loved, God loved you. God acts first, we get to respond. This may sound simple but I think if we take it seriously, it profoundly shapes how we choose to love others. If we seek to love others as Christ loves us, then the question, “who deserves my love?” is no longer relevant. We don’t choose who deserves it, we don’t even prioritize how to spend our love, as if it is finite. It’s like when a new child joins a family and the parents find that their capacity for love grows too. They don’t split the love they had for their first child in half to give to the second! It all grows. And, so too, can our love for our neighbors. To love our neighbors as Christ loved us is to love first, even when it feels vulnerable and scary. To extend a hand of welcome and greeting before one is extended to us is a scary thing to do! But it can be the start of something beautiful.
The second way we can love our neighbors as Christ loved us is to treat them as friends. Christ tells his followers, “I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.” Friendship, true friendship, means mutuality. It has to have give and take, doesn’t it? A friendship that is all give on one side and take on the other may flourish for a while, but it will fade out, or worse, end in flames. No, the friendships that really last are the ones where both people feel safe to be vulnerable and ask for help when they need it. There are some of you in this congregation who I can already tell are big “givers.” You love to be needed and help others in their times of need, but you might have a harder time asking for help. Maybe you’re part of the generation that was taught that asking for help is the same as complaining and complaining is unacceptable. I’d remind you that if no one were willing to accept help, then no one would have the joy of extending it. It takes both kinds and at some point in our lives, we will all need the help of a friend.
I think your commitment to lifelong friendships is one of the greatest gifts this congregation has to offer its neighbors. When I was first introduced to Lakewood Pres, all I heard were stories of friendship. This congregation is made of families who choose to be friends— which is not something any family should take for granted. I barely know you and I know that you do friendship well. You have stuck it out with one another through good times and bad. You have shared life together and you come back to this place because it is a place where you are known and loved. God knows there are a lot of lonely people in this world who could use a friend. If we want to love our neighbors as Christ loved us, it means we must broaden the circle of friends. The tight circles that have been woven together for decades must find space to open up and invite newcomers in. The offer of true friendship is the offer of love that Christ shares with us.
Finally, loving our neighbors as Christ loved us means being willing to sacrifice for our neighbor. Jesus told his disciples, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Remember, this is John 15 we’re talking about– this is way before the crucifixion and resurrection. The disciples must have been a bit confused. “Love others as you loved us? You haven’t laid down your life for us… What are you talking about, Jesus?” And yet, Jesus says it as if it has already happened. Jesus says that there is no greater love than to choose to sacrifice your life for your friends. I have thought about this verse since I was a child. I wanted to be a good friend— the best friend, if I’m being honest— but I didn’t want to die. I kept thinking, is that really how to prove I’m a good friend? No. I don’t think that is what Jesus is saying. I think what he is saying is that if we want great love, then we must be willing to put it all on table to sacrifice for our friends. I, for one, hope that I will never need to lay down my life for someone else. I want to live a long life and die on my own terms. But I also want to choose a life filled with love that compels me to care for others as deeply as I do myself and so, I must be willing to sacrifice, should I need to.
Love is the basis of everything that we do– as Christians and as neighbors. We will continue to talk about who our neighbors are, how we can get to know them, and what true mutuality looks like. But first, we must hold fast to the love that grounds and guides us. As Paul says in Corinthians, “If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
So, may our first and our last breath each day be of love. As we reflect on our own practice of neighboring, may we remember to love as Christ loved us– choosing to love first, to treat neighbors as friends, and choose love, even if it means risking the greatest sacrifice. Amen.
